Hi All,
Sorry that I didn't call everyone back, that I should have this week. I did appreciate the calls. I hope I will catch up with you sooner or later. Maybe this will do for now.
So, this week, with the insertion of a medi-port under my skin with a catheter leading to my heart, (Oxford Comma?) and an infusion of multiple colorful chemicals into my body, my assimilation into The Borg Collective was completed. Afterwards, life support systems were down to 82% on decks 5, 6, and 7 but crewmen sealed them off and are working on repairs now.
No, this is not another lyrics analysis quiz, that will come in a later issue. Kyle warned me against this Star Trek-ease but I went for it anyway. Just in case you didn't waste your 20's watching "Star Trek, The Next Generation", like we did, "The Borg" was this interstellar hive-like civilization that traipsed around the Universe in a big hive-looking but totally metallic and cool spaceship trying to assimilate all other cultures they came across, by force of course. They would do so by replacing people's various body parts with computerized versions of these parts and thereby also hypnotizing them and stealing their souls. People who have been absorbed into the Borg, cease to retain their own identity and all become cancer patients ... Oh no, wait, I just drifted off into my own life, whoops. No, they become like a colony of Communist bees. I'm not sure where this is going but Communist bee or cancer patient, neither sounds good? Maybe I should go farther back and think Bionic Woman instead. Well, sorry, I couldn't help myself. I love Star Trek. Wonder if you knew that about me.
On Monday, I had minor surgery to place the port into my chest. The surgery went well. The doctors and nurses were excedingly nice and comforting, even though I had met them for the first time only 10 minutes the operation began. But, the recovery was more than I'd bargained for. Kyle gently told me later that he thought I might not be an "anesthesia girl". Let's just put it this way, my sister drove me home then went to the car wash immediately afterwards. I was pretty painful that night, but some more percaset (drugs) was at hand so I made it threw.
Then Tuesday I woke up ok, not feeling like I could drive, so I walked. I walked with my husband up to PetSmart in the morning to take Argo for a grooming, I walked to Bethesda for some coffee and on to a Barnes and Noble, then to CVS where I picked up copious prescribed anti-nausia medications, and then I walked home on the trail. An hour later, I walked again on the trail with my friend, Sonia for a bit, then I walked back up to PetSmart to pick up Argo and then back home.
FINALLY, FINALLY, FINALLY, Wednesday came. Kyle and I showed up bright and early on the 7th floor of GrgTwn Hospital, not too nervous. I knew there would be a lot of waiting since they are not allowed to mix the "cocktail" until you get there and also give them some blood from your newly placed and tender port. Nurse Julie came around to give me a detailed daily list of directions about when to take each drug I had gotten from CVS and what they were for. She also gave me a calendar that goes into May. The calendar spelled out all the days I would need to show up for various things, chemo, neulasta (a blood production booster) and tests beyond that. I wasn't sure whether to plug this calendar into my phone calendar or vice versa. Which would be more trouble to do? They also gave me some intravenous anti-nausia meds through the port. This took about 2 hours, but we were patient.
Then, da da daaaa, Infusion Nurse Mercedes walked in with 2 huge shotzers - GIANT - filled with dayglow red Adriomiacine. She explained that this drug was not a "drip" drug, meaning it could not drip from an IV bag like the others I would receive. She had to sit there with me and push them into my port manually. This would take about 15 minutes each. I decided I really needed to get out my cell phone and check my email so that I could pretend nothing big was happening. Kyle clearly also felt the same. He couldn't watch either. I had received a positive vibes email from my sis and also from my friend, Tom, who didn't know what I was doing at that moment. I also wrote my friend Tammy to see if I could shock her with the news. I'll spare you the gorey details but it isn't possible to shock my friend Tammy. Writing them was a great distraction and I thought maybe the drugs I was being infused with might even give me some superpowers that would allow me to thumb type on my cell phone faster. But typing these emails only took 15 minutes after all and I ended up making some jokes with Mercedes and Kyle about how I wished the drugs would make me glow in the dark or sparkle or something. She was amused and promised I would get red pee out of it afterwards. Alas it was only pink. Let's hope that the chemicals at least will merge me with the Borg well enough that I will be able to count better in the future. None of you missed Gardening at Night, #4. I never wrote one with that number. I skipped completely over it so don't worry. Anyway, Kyle was wonderful company for me through the rest of the day. We optimistically made a Spring Break plan (going to Key Biscayne). We read on and off. He ran to the student center taco bell and brought us back some healthy bean burritos, which I ate while being infused. Maybe that's almost as good as riding a bike a stationary bike at the same time. I finished "Me Talk Pretty One Day", the David Sedaris book I read. I promise an excerpt sometime. It was terrific. Then just as I finished the last page, I was done and we left.
We went home and went for a long walk on the trail again. That was nice. I was buzzy.
My reference to life support systems on decks 5, 6, and 7 (earlier in this email) was meant to indicate my tummy. Yes, it felt pretty weird but nothing so violent as Monday's response to treatment. And now it's the day after. Although, I started off slow, I ate lots of food including a Serano ham sandwich with tomatoes and expensive cheese and vegetable tamales with some delicate peppers. I think I might have some brittle now. Although I was really, really tired today, I did even squeeze in yet another walk on the path.
Ok, that's a rap. Hope you don't mind if this email stands in for our Holiday card this year, because that's all that's coming. So Hope you all have a wonderful New Year in 2008. We love you all, but whoever left the dark chocolate almond bar today and loaf of homemade looking bread the other, please step forward and identify yourselves so you can be loved accordingly.
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