So, it's what you fashion focused folks have all been waiting for:
Adele's Super Sexy Breast Cancer Ins & Huber Outs List for 08 ...
I apologize up front since my sense of humor seems to be sick this year as well. But I know you trend watchers want to find out what's hip for the new year in order to get yourselves in with the cool cancer crowd. Don't be left out ...
OUT WITH THE OLD 2007
... Hair
IN WITH THE NEW 2008
... Hats, head scarves, and pirate bandanas including one from PetSmart that Argo wore home the other day
OUT WITH THE OLD 2007
... anti-perspirant
IN WITH THE NEW 2008
... anti-nausia
OUT WITH THE OLD 2007
... tirelessly searching for a wii and succeeding, before Christmas, to show my kids how much I love them
IN WITH THE NEW 2008
... letting my kids buy themselves a wii way after Christmas so I can nap for the next 5 months
OUT WITH THE OLD 2007
... donuts (no longer taste good in my mouth)
IN WITH THE NEW 2008
... corn nuts
OUT WITH THE OLD 2007
... lipstick for special ocassions
IN WITH THE NEW 2008
... Burt's Bees Lib Balm and Cepacol for combating mouth sores
OUT WITH THE OLD 2007
... heavy lifting of bags of mulch for my friends or anyone else (Doctor's orders)
IN WITH THE NEW 2008
... helping my friends with any possible garden advice I can provide
OUT WITH THE OLD 2007
... pushing public elevator buttons, opening restroom doors and shaking "hands" with anything other than my elbows so I don't catch any commoner uncool germs
IN WITH THE NEW 2008
... sleeping with elbows elevated to prevent the lymphodema, an irreversible swelling of the arms - oh yeah!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!2008 WILL BE GREAT! HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
So now for an update. First up is the Hair Report:
I still have my lovely lady locks, but the clock is ticking. Mercedes, the infusion nurse told me I'd have 14 to 21 days after my first infusion. Lisa the insurance nurse (that's right, the insurance company gave me a nurse, too) told me I'd have 10. It's now been 11. Several of you Tough Allies have told me that your mothers hadn't lost their hair at all when they'd been through chemo themselves. I think it is a nice idea but likely a slim chance. The 2 chemo drugs I've been given are well known to cause hair loss. Never-the-less, I was indeed happy to have held onto my hair for our Chicago trip and now that winter is here in MD I'm still happy to have it. So now I feel I will hang onto it until my fate is crystal clear. So as I was getting into the shower today, I thought of the person who picks up an umbrella on the way out the door, thus guaranteeing rain. And in bold move of defiance, I did NOT put the drain filter back into the drain - ON PURPOSE. If hair was going to go down, hair was going down. Wow, am I brave or what? And it's true, except for the cold, I'm not really afraid of loosing my hair. In fact I've always wanted to be the radical mom, just wasn't thinking I'd be a free-radical mom (how was that Laura S?). Well, my scalp is beginning to itch as is the entirety of my skin. I wonder if this is foreshadowing.
Now for a physical focus:
So when I last reported in I had had a pedicure (Thanks Cara and Ted) and it had been "Day 3". That's the term of art which chemo patients use when talking about treatment because when you walk away on "day 1", you leave the infusion unit with a huge long list of pills and a schedule for each day for when to take them over the course of the next 5 or so depending on how you feel moment to moment. I think I mentioned this before. "Day 3" is usually when the buzz of the infusion drugs end and things inevitably head south. I had been told it would feel like having the worst case of the flu you've ever had, aches and pains, exhaustion, and yes, tummy troubles. I would say that's pretty accurate except I would add all this to say, post marathon fatigue. Ok, I've never run a marathon, but are you going to get technical with me? Really the worst part is that from Day 3 it goes on for several more days. And at least for the first round, you wonder whether you'll ever feel like a human again. You feel as if you've been doing something akin to breathing fire and the taste in your mouth is proof. You're so weak, you can't imagine walking around for more than 10 minutes at a time without an hour long nap, much less getting up for jogging. I couldn't really eat anything until after 5pm each day. Also to quell the internal flames, I was pumping (drinking) gallons of water through my body at a constant rate. I drank at least one and a half of those big blue jugs you put into your home water cooler all on my own, no lie. I was literally taking a bath on the inside like some kind of giant sponge. Because of this cleansing process, I had to get up every night many times to pee, of course. That made for great nights of sleep for Kyle and myself. Poor Kyle. I couldn't bring myself to drink coffee either. So in truth I'm not certain if all this was due to a really bad case of caffeine withdrawal, hmmmm. A wrestling match that broiled away in my stomach did not cause me to actually throw-up but the battle raged on unending, so that sometimes I couldn't really speak. And speaking of speaking, another problem I was having was that my throat was still quite soar from the medi-port surgery. Although I am much more used to it now, the little tube that goes from my chest to my heart takes the long road north into the bottom of my throat (you can even kind of see the impression of this under my skin) before turning back south for the real action. This has caused me to speak in a slightly higher tone of voice and I really dislike yelling, much to the delight of my kids. To put it in a nutshell, it was basically 5 days of Night of the Living Dead.
Despite all this going on on the inside, I was in fact delighted to have taken the trip to Chicago to see Kyle's two lovely sisters, their families and his mom. (Kyle's mom's name is Roberta but she goes by Bobby. Just as an aside, I have always wanted to tell her that I've always thought that was such a tough, fun and admirable nickname. I have no idea if she even likes it but that's how I feel about it.) Anyway, Kyle's family (like my own) is quite warm, caring and happily "distracting". While they were perfectly satisfied to let me spend hours sleeping, in the bathroom, (oxford comma) or just chillin' on their sofa watching the Dog Whisperer. They also provided a lot of calm entertainment for me and stimulating entertainment for the kiddos. Lil and Lu couldn't get enough of their cousins, especially Mikayla and Bret. Bret is a former champion wrestler, currently studying to become a physical therapist himself. When he finishes his studies this spring I will be nominating him for Beatification. Mikayla is Lil and Lu's idol and best friend. As a serene 12 year old, she patiently plays with them both somehow at the same time and enjoys it. They all share cinematic daydreams and computer savvy among other things. Shauna and Mike have to be the most patient people alive. Every time we visit, they take amazing care of us while we create noise and havoc in their home, providing amazing meals, lend us their car and go with us on any kind of outing we propose. Shauna is the only person I know who simply because she's sitting next to one of my kids at the dinner table, will pick up a fork and feed them (as we often still do) without anyone noticing or asking. She's every bit as stubborn and charming as Lucy, which is a wonderful thing.
Anyway, it was quite nice to be there getting through rather than paying attention to my body. I could not avoid how I would feel physically but I also couldn't wallow in it. I even went walking some days. One 20 degree F afternoon, I went walking on a long stretch of 2 lane road just outside their neighborhood while Kyle and company went to see Alvin and the Chipmunks. I spent a very joyful 45 minutes walking along this bitter cold road shoulder and made my way a half mile down, to my amazement passing huge cattail filled ponds and corn fields - yes this is still the Northwest suburbs of Chicago and finally turned around at a barn where a golden pony whinnied at me to say hi, I thought.
I also could eat after 5 pm each night and I ate really well. I doubt I lost any weight and probably put on few pounds. (If it didn't happen then, it must have since since Kyle continues to spoil our family with fabulous meals and treats. Today was cupcakes and caviar, not at the same time of course). And then on Tuesday, I saw the light at the end of the tunnel, just a glimmer. Wednesday I awoke feeling much more like myself. We went bowling. Thursday we returned home. Friday I began doing steps again and I'm proud to announce I broke my first post-chemo sweat. In a few days, I'll start the cycle all over again. The way it will work is that I will have 3 more treatments, each two weeks apart of Adriomiacine and Citoxine. This takes me through Feb. Then at that point I go every week for one small dose of Taxol. I will be busy, but that is supposed to feel much less severe given that way. That will take me right smack up to May. Throughout I will receive (hopefully, 80% chance) the test drug, Avastin. Cross your fingers.
OK, here's a couple songs for you, just for fun:
1. This one is by Jay-Z (rap) and the key lyrics go like this ...
If you having girl problems I feel bad for you son
I got 99 problems but a bitch ain't one
Hit me
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cg8dYL3an9k
(probably want to preview this before showing any kid)
The inclusion of this song for you today is supposed to be ironic since I believe Kyle has a very specific girl problem. Anyway, the name of the album it is included on is called "The Grey Album" which is actually a clever combo of the Beatles While Album with Jay'Z's Black Album.
2. This one is by MIA (a different kind of rapper, not from the standard hood). The song is called "Bird Flu", which I believe to be as horrid as my own illness. I heard some kids behind me on the airplane saying her album was number one on the Rolling Stone list this year. This is uncorroborated info, but I LOVED it...
http://ca.youtube.com/watch?v=VDSnLcu2HTI&feature=related
MIA is from Shri Lanka and her father was a Tamil Tiger, so her music is a combo of hip hop with a big eastern influence.
Book Corner:
I was going to write some book reviews for you but I fear this letter is getting too long, midnight approaches. I will save them for later, but I can report I've now finished the Bill Bryson Book I was listening to on ipod called The Life and Times of the Thunderbolt Kid. It was one of the funniest books I've ever read. I promise to do a proper review in the future, especially because I imagine these updates will get rather monotonous with nausea and the like. So stay tuned. I also want to thank several of you, my friend Laura S, Brother-in-Law Ron, Sister-in-Law Colleen, and buddy Tom K for providing a huge new library of funny books to peruse. So stay tuned for this exciting column.
Gardener's Notebook:
I want to wrap up this letter by getting back to some writing that's close to my heart and mentioning one of my new favorite plants I learned about this year. It is a native, semi-evergreen and quite graceful. It's called Ilex vomitoria, or Youpon Holly. It's called vomitoria because eating the berries will make you sick, duh. The cultivar, 'Yawkeyi' has unique yellow berries. To learn more about it, see http://www.dogwooddesigner.com/?p=67. But just so you go into the new year with a beautiful visual, I want to share this gorgeous picture with you, sent to me by my friend, Sandra. She visited a botanical garden in Pittsburgh over the holiday that was holding g exhibition on -- "Chihuly at Phipps: Gardens and Glass" and was kind enough to make my day by passing it along. See attached. To go with it a statement from Lily, just as she got into the tub tonight she said to Lucy, "hey, let's create a magical fairy land of pretend, Ok?
Happy New Year.
No comments:
Post a Comment